> Santa asks: Who r u? > Wife: How dare u forget ur wife? > Santa: Nasha har gam ko bhula deta hai > **************************************************************************** > Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto, Banta asks: Y r u > removing a > wheel from ur auto? > Santa: Can't u read 'Parking for two wheelers only' > **************************************************************************** > Santa: Doctor, ye phulon ki mala kis ke liye? > Doctor: Ye mera pehla operation hai, success hua to mere liye, nahi > to > tumhare liye. > **************************************************************************** > Santa: Doc saab, mein Chashma laga ke pad to sakoonga? > Doc: Haan, bilkul. > Santa: To phir theek hai doc saab varna Anpad aadmi ki zindagi bhi > koi > zindagi hai. > **************************************************************! ************** > Santa: Raat film main ek chudail kabhi mere aage, khabhi mere peechhe > ghoom > rahi thi... > Jeeto: Koun si film thi ? > Santa: Apni shaadi ki movie thi ! > **************************************************************************** > Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the > name > from > NASA to SATYANASA > ****************************! ************************************************ > Santa apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai. > Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho? > Santa: I'm falling in love. > **************************************************************************** > Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho? > Santa: Suicide karne ke liye > Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai? > Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye > **************************************************************************** > Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets > Jeeto: Why 3? > Santa: For you and your parents > **************************************************************************** > Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken. > Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one. > **************************************************************************** > Lady Doc: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar auraton ko kyon > ghoorte > ho? > Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne ka samay > 9am-11am > **************************************************************************** > A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein > Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya. > **************************************************************************** > At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my > hand, > oh! > Santa: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his > head. Is > he crying? > **************************************************************************** > In an interview, > Interviewer: How does an electric motor run? > Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr.....! > Inteviewer shouts: Stop it. > Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup... > **************************************************************************** > Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got > irritated... > drank poison & said, > Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge! > **************************************************************************** > Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage bado Santa aage nahin bada > Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade? > Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10ve number pe tha > **************************************************************************** > Banta: Yaar teri wife ki maut ka bara afsos hua, vaise hua kya tha? > Sant: Goli lagi thi mathe main. > Banta: Waheguru ji ka shukar kar ke aankh bach gayi. > ************************************************! **************************** > Santa apni khoobsurat Bibi k saath car mein baitha. Driver ne sheesha > set > kiya. Santa gusse mein bola, meri bibi ko dekhkta hai, piche baith, > car > mein > chalaoonga! > **************************************************************************** > Santa: tainu Sunny Deol da phone no pata hai...? > Banta: Nahin, kyon ki hoya? > Santa: Yaaar asi Nalka patauna si. > **************************************************************************** > Banta: U cheated me. > Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u. > Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all > India > Radio! > **************************************************************************** > Sadhu: Bachcha teri biwi ko chuddail chipak gayee hai. Upaaye > karvaao. > Banta: Upayaye? Baba, agar do behenein gale mil rahi hain to is mein harz > hi > kya hai ? > **************************************************************************** > Tourist: Whose skeleton is that? > Santa: Tipu's skeleton. > Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it? > Santa: That was Tipu's skeleton when he was child > **************************************************************************** > Napoleon: There is no such word as 'Impos! sible' in my dictionary. > Santa: To dictionary dekh kar kharidni thi ...! > **************************************************************************** > Santa: Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein Pagal ho jaaunga. > Jeeto: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey? > Santa: Pagal ka kya hai, kuch bhi kar sakta hai > **************************************************************************** > Banta: ! Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai? > Santa: Oye tujhe yeh bhi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja > rahi > ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI > **************************************************************************** > Santa was riding on a horse. He jumped the red light & a cop > whistles. > Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: 'Le Karle Number Note' > **************************************************************************** > Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua? > Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai. > **************************************************************************** > Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye. > Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha > hai. > **************************************************************************** > Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call. > Santa: Who r u? Girl: Seeta here. > Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya > **************************************************************************** > Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery. > The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du? > Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya? > *************
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