A Carrot, An Egg and a Cup of Coffee

A Carrot, An Egg and a Cup of Coffee

This was too good of a life lesson not to pass on! A carrot, an egg and a cup of coffee...  You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her.  She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire.  Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me, what do you see?"

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.  Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft.  The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she  observed the hard boiled egg.  Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity .. boiling water. Each reacted differently.  The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.  The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however.  After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I?  Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spire…

BANTA'S Letter to Bill Gates

Dear Mr Bill Gates,

This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer
for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and
whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column,
only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed
appears, but we face this problem only in password field. We checked
with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in
keyboard.

Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****. I
request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.

2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the 'shut down ' button.

3. There is a button 'start' but there is no "stop" button. We request
you to check this.

4. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend clicked 'run '
has ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to "sit", so
that we can click that by sitting.

5. One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find
only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

6. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost
the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this ' find',
but unable to trace. Is it a bug??

7. Every night I am not sleeping as i have to protect my 'mouse' from
CAT, So i suggest u to provide one DOG to kill that cat.

8. Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning 'HEARTS'
(playing cards in games) and when are u coming to my home to collect ur
money.

9. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft
sentence', so when u will provide that?

10. Hey ye kya hi, I brought computer, cpu, mouse and keypad lekhin
there is only one icon with 'MY Computer', remaining ka kya huwa?

11. Are ye to kamal hi aap bole raha hi ki 'MY Pictures' lekhin there is
not even single photo of mine, So when u will keep my photo in that.

with sincere regards
Banta singh

Co0L Definitions

Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with
fire at one end & a fool on the other.

Divorce : Future tense of marriage.

Lecture : An art of transferring information from the
notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students
without passing through "the minds of either"

Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by
the number present.

Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way
that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine
will-power is defeated by feminine water power...

Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before
marriage.

Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

Smile :- A curve that can set a lot of things
straight.

Office :- A place where you can relax after your
strenuous home life.

Yawn :- The only time some married men ever get to
open their mouth.

Etc. :- A sign to make others believe that you know
more than you actually do.

Committee :- Individuals who can do nothing
individually and sit to decide that nothing can be
done together.

Experience :- The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb :- An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher :- A fool who torments himself during
life, to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat :- A person who tells you to go to hell in
such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Opportunist :- A person who starts taking bath if he
accidentally falls into a river

Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel
tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last
letter in RO, Instead of the first letter in word
OPPORTUNITY.

Miser :- A person who lives poor so that he can die
rich.

Father :- A banker provided by nature.

Criminal :- A guy no different from the rest... except
that he got caught.

Boss :- Someone who is early when you are late and
late when you are early.

Politician :- One who shakes your hand before
elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor :- A person who kills your ills by pills, and
kills you with his bills. 

Love letter

A different Love letter  
 
A different Love letter and a beautiful reply to it. Often happens in life
 
A teenage college guy sent a love letter (in Q/A format) to his classmate.
 
My Dearest Reshma
 
Please answer the following questionnaire. For Options
(a)10 marks, (b) 5marks and (c) 3 marks
 
1) Whenever you enter the class room, your sight always falls on me
because:
 
(a) of love
(b) you couldn't control seeing me
(c) really .. am I doing it?
 
2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn and look at me
because:
 
(a) you always like to see me smiling
(b) you are testing whether I like jokes
(c) you are attracted by my smile
 
 
3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and immediately you
stopped singing because:
 
(a) you are so coy to sing before me
(b) my presence influenced you
(c) you feared that whether I'll like your song
 
 
4) When you were showing your child photo, when I asked for it, you
hide it because:
 
(a) you felt ashamed
(b) you felt uneasy
(c) you don't know
 
 
5) During trekking, myself and my friend gave you hand for lifting
you and you took only my friend's because:
 
(a) you enjoyed my disappointment
(b) you won't feel leaving my hand after grabbing
(c) you don't know
 
 
6) You were waiting yesterday for bus and didn't get into your bus...
 
(a) you were waiting for me
(b) you were dreaming about me and didn't notice the bus
(c) that bus was crowded
 
 
7) You introduced me to your parents when they came to college
because:
 
(a) I am going to be your groom
(b) you just want to know what your parents think about me
(c) just you felt like introducing me to them
 
 
8) I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day, you came with a
rose on your head because:
 
(a) to fulfill my wish
(b) you like roses
(c) by chance you got a rose
 
 
9) On that day, it was my birthday. you too came to temple early at 6:00 AM
because:
 
(a) you want to pray along with me
(b) you want to meet me before any one could meet on my birthday
(c) you want to wish me at temple because you are spiritual
 
If you have scored more than 40, then you are loving me. Don't delay
in expressing it. If you have scored between 30 and 40, love is
budding in your heart and it's getting ready to bloom. If you have
scored less than 30, you are in confusion whether to love me or not.
 
Eagerly awaiting your reply..
love,
 
 
 
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Mississippi

Mississippi *****

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but she listens in horror as one of the men says the following;

"Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, dey come together. I come again. Two asses, dey come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a more."

"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Imma just tellun my friend howa ta spella Mississippi."

Toilet at oversea

Toilet at oversea

Do you know english?????

> > > >There was a Chinese lady married to an English gentleman and they lived in > > >London. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but managed > > >somehow to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. > > > > > >One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork legs. She didn't > > >know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, lifted up her skirt to > > >show her thighs. The butcher got the message and the lady went home with > > >pork legs. > > > > > >

The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn't know how > > >to say, and so she unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breast. > > >The lady got what she wanted. > > > > > >

The third day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages.

She brought her > > >husband to the store.......... so what did she do? > > >??

> > >?? > > >?? > > >?? > > >?? > > >??

> > >?? > > >?? > > >?? > > >?? > > >??

> > >?? > > >?? > > >

What are you thinking? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

HellOOOooooooOOOooo,

 her husband speaks English!! > > > > > >--------------------------------- > 

The Axe Effect

ITS the Axe effect

 

I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so
we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends
encouraged me. And my girlfriend? She was a dream!
There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed. That one thing
was her younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini
skirts, and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me
and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be
deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the
wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me
that soon I was to be married and she had feelings and desires for me
that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told
me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and
committed my life to her sister.
I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going
upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up
the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and
threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then
turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and
stepped out of the house and walked straight towards my car.
My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he
hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little
test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the
family."

The moral of this story is: always keep your condoms in your car !

Two life changing questions

2 life changing questions





Question 1:


If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who
were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis,
would you recommend that she have an abortion?

Read the next question before looking at the answer for this one.



Question 2:


It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are
the facts about the three leading candidates.

Candidate A -
Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists.
He's had two Mistresses.  He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis
a day.

Candidate B -
He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college
and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.

Candidate C -
He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an
occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.

Which of these candidates would be your choice?  Decide first, no peeking,
then scroll down for theanswer.


















Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Candidate B is Winston Churchill.
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.

This is reality of life, ain't???!!

And, by the way, the answer to the abortion question: If you said yes, you
just killed Beethoven.

Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a person think before judging someone.
Never be afraid to try something new.
Remember: Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic and in
case you never saw this one......

Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500
employees and has the following statistics:

* 29 have been accused of spousal abuse
* 7 have been arrested for fraud
* 19 have been accused of writing bad checks
* 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
*3 have done time for assault
* 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
* 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
* 8 have been arrested for shoplifting
* 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
* 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year.

Can you guess which organization this is?









Give up yet?












It's the 535 members of the United States Congress.


The same group of idiots that crank out hundreds of new laws each year
designed to keep the rest of us in line.

Joke Nice......One

 

A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches
I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone."

"No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?"

His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to
stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat, 'I do not have a
headache, I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache.' It
worked! The headaches are all gone."

The husband replies, "Well, that's wonderful."

His wife then says, "You know, you haven't exactly been a ball of fire
in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the hypnotist
and see if he can do anything for that?"

The husband agrees to try it. Following his appointment, the husband
comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife, and carries her into
the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be
right back."

He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later, jumps
into bed, and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.
His wife says, "Wow! That was wonderful!"

The husband says, "Don't move! I'll be right back." He returns to the
bathroom and then goes back to the bedroom, and round two is even better
than the first time. The wife sits up and her head is spinning.

Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." With that, he
goes back into the bathroom.

This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she
sees him standing in front of the mirror, saying, "She's not my wife.
She's not my wife. She's not my wife."

Women r clever---lolz

 

There was this man who had worked all of his life
and had saved
> all
> > > > > > of his money and he was a real miser when
it came to his
> money.
> He
> > > loved
> > > > > >
> > > > > > money more than just about anything, and
just before he
> > > > > > died,he said to his wife.......,"Now
listen. When I die, I
> want
> you
> >to
> > > > > > take
> > > > > > all my money and put it in the casket with
me. Because I
> wanna
> take
> >my
> > > > > > money to the afterlife with me."
> > > > > >
> > > > > > And so he got his wife to promise him with
all of her heart
> and
> to
> > > > > > swear on a stack of Bibles that when he
died, she would put
> all
> of
> >the
> > > > > > money
> > > > > >
> > > > > > in the casket with him.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Well on day he died. He was stretched out
in the casket, his
> wife
> > > > > > was sitting there in black, and her friend
was sitting next
> to
> her.
> > > > > > When they finished the ceremony, just
before the undertakers
> got
> >ready
> > > > > > to
> > > > > > Close the casket, the wife said, "Just
Wait just a Minute!'
> > > > > >
> > > > > > She had a box with her, she came over with
the box and put
> it
> in
> the
> > > > > > casket. Then the undertakers then locked
the casket down,
> and
> they
> > > > > > rolled it away.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > So her friend said, "Girl, I know you
weren't fool enough to
> put
> all
> > > > > > that
> > > > > > money in there with that man. "
> > > > > >
> > > > > > She said, "Listen, I'm a Christian, I
can't lie. I promised
> him
> that
> > > > > > I would put all his money in the casket
with him."
> > > > > >
> > > > > > "You mean to tell me you put that money in
the casket with
> that
> > > > > > man?"
> > > > > >
> > > > > > "I sure did," said the wife........"I
wrote him a cheque. "
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Hmh I not Stupid You Know!
> > > > > >
> > > > > > MORALE OF THE STORY - WOMEN ARE CLEVER
THAN MEN! 

Perfectly chauvinistic joke

Perfectly chauvinistic joke....wouldn't you say?????

 

 

Once upon a time a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was of course... perfect. One snowy stormy Christmas Eve the perfect couple were driving their perfect car along a winding road when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys. Unfortunately the conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa had an accident !!

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Only one of them survived the accident. Who was the survivor ?

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Scroll down for the answer.

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Answer: The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man!!!

 

****** Women stop reading here, this is the end of the joke******

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Men keep scrolling.

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So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the woman must have been driving. This explains why there was an accident . By the way if you're a woman and 'still reading', this illustrates another point..... Women NEVER listen!!!