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Friday, November 27, 2009

Who is clever?

Who is clever? Teacher or student?

One Night 4 College Students Were Playing Till Late Night and Didn't Study For The Test Which Was Scheduled For The Next Day.

In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and weird with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.

So the Dean said they can have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him and said they will be ready by that time.

On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as this was a Special Condition Test, All four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test.

They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.

The Test consisted of 2 questions with the total of 100 Marks.

Q.1. Your Name........ ......... ......... (2 MARKS)

Q.2. Which tyre burst ?........... ....(98 MARKS) a) Front Left b) Front Right c) Back Left d) Back Right.....!! !

True story from IIT Bombay ...Batch 1992-96

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

A PRAYER FOR U.......................


May your EXPENSES
never catch up with your
POCKET
MONEY/SALARY
this month and ALWAYS.

Monday, July 27, 2009

We have 3 stupid stages of life……….. Teen age: Have Time + Energy …but No Money
Working Age:
Have Money + Energy …but No Time
Old age:
Have Time + Money …but no Energy

Thursday, April 02, 2009

............................................
of fishing and decides to take a nap.
Although not familiar with the lake,
the wife decides to take the boat out.
She motors out a short distance,
anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat.
He pulls up alongside the woman and says,
'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?' 'Reading a book,' she replies,
( thinking , 'Isn't that obvious ? ') 'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her. 'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading' 'Yes, but you have all the equipment.
For all I know you could start at any moment.
I'll have to take you in and write you up.' 'For reading a book,' she replies , 'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,'
he informs her again,
'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing.
I'm reading'
'Yes, but you have all the equipment.
For all I know you could start at any moment.
I'll have to take you in and write you up.' 'If you do that,
I'll have to charge you with sexual assault ,'
says the woman.
'But I haven't even touched you,' says the game warden.
'That's true, but you have all the quipment.
For all I know you could start at any moment.' 'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.
MORAL :
Never argue with a woman who reads.
It's likely she can also think.
KEEP SMILING...:)

Friday, February 27, 2009

Dear friends, 
  
All of us must have studied Geometry & theorems during our school days. Let us study an interesting theorem, some equations and some derived results of life!!!!!!!!!! So get ready........ 
Amazing theorem 
Equation 1 
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy 
Donkey = eat + sleep 
Therefore, 
Human = Donkey + work + enjoy 
Therefore, 
Human - enjoy = Donkey + work 
In other words, 
Human that don't know enjoy = Donkey that work 
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= === 
Equation 2 
Men = eat + sleep + earn money 
Donkeys = eat + sleep 
Therefore, 
Men = Donkeys + earn money 
Therefore, 
Men - earn money = Donkeys 
In other words, 
Men that don't earn money = Donkeys 
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ==== 
Equation 3 
Women = eat + sleep + spend 
Donkeys = eat + sleep 
Therefore, 
Women = Donkeys + spend 
Therefore, 
Women - spend = Donkeys 
In other words, 
Women that don't spend = Donkeys 
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ===== 
To Conclude: 
From Equation 2 and Equation 3 
Men that don't earn money = Women that don't spend. 
So, Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys! (Postulate 1) 
And, Women spend not to let men become Donkeys! (Postulate 2) 
So, we have? 
Men + Women = Donkeys + earn money + Donkeys + spend money 
Therefore from Postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude,
Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together! 

Dear friend, 

just check whether u r in LOVE wid sum one or not . Pls read it carefully 

n in the End the mail, 

if someone appears in ur subconscious then ............... 

than what dear U r in LOVE with that spl Some one.  Try this, it very TRUE. Dont ignore it  So, here u gooooooooooooooo....... (Also let me know who is that spl some one for U.)

Click Here To Join

When you are together with that special someone, 

you pretend to ignore that person. But when that special someone is not around, 

you might look around 

to find them.

At that moment, you are in love.

Click Here To Join

Although there is someone else who always makes you laugh,  your eyes and attention might go only to that special someone. Then, you are in love. 

Click Here To Join

Although that special someone was supposed to have called you long back, to let you know of their safe arrival,  your phone is quiet.  You are desperately waiting for the call! At that moment, you are in love. 

Click Here To Join

If you are much more excited for one short e-mail from that special someone than other many long e-mails, you are in love. 

Click Here To Join

When you find yourself as one who cannot erase all the emails or SMS messages in your phone because of one message from that special someone, you are in love. 

Click Here To Join

When you get a couple of free movie tickets, you would not hesitate to think of that special someone.  Then, you are in love. 

Click Here To Join

You keep telling yourself, "that special someone is just a friend",but  you realize that you can not avoid that person's special attraction. At that moment, you are in love. While you are reading this mail, if someone appears in your mind, then u are in love with that person...;)) 

 

7 Reasons the world will end in 2012 

 

 

Scientific experts from around the world are genuinely predicting that five years from now, all life on Earth could well finish. Some are saying it'll be humans that set it off. Others believe that a natural phenomenon will be the cause. And the religious folks are saying it'll be God himself who presses the stop button...

 

1. Mayan Calendar

 

 

 

The first mob to predict December 12, 2012 as the end of the world were the Mayans, a bloodthirsty race that were good at two things: Building highly accurate astrological equipment out of stone and Sacrificing Virgins.

 

Thousands of years ago they managed to calculate the length of the lunar moon as 329.53020 days, only 34 seconds out. The Mayan calendar predicts that the Earth will end on December 21, 2012. Given that they were pretty close to the mark with the lunar cycle, it's likely they've got the end of the world right as well.

 

2. Sun Storms

 

 

 

Solar experts from around the world monitoring the sun have made a startling discovery: our sun is in a bit of strife. The energy output of the sun is, like most things in nature, cyclic, and it's supposed to be in the middle of a period of relative stability. However, recent solar storms have been bombarding the Earth with so much radiation energy, it's been knocking out power grids and destroying satellites. This activity is predicted to get worse, and calculations suggest it'll reach its deadly peak sometime in 2012

 

 

3. The Atom Smasher

 

 

Scientists in Europe have been building the world's largest particle accelerator. Basically its a 27km tunnel designed to smash atoms together to find out what makes the Universe tick. However, the mega-gadget has caused serious concern, with some scientists suggesting that it's properly even a bad idea to turn it on in the first place. They're predicting all manner of deadly results, including mini black holes. So when this machine is fired up for its first serious experiment in 2012, the world could be crushed into a super-dense blob the size of a basketball.

 

 

4. The Bible says...

 

 

 

If having scientists warning us about the end of the world isn't bad enough,religious folks are getting in on the act aswell. Interpretations of the Christian Bible reveal that the date for Armageddon, the final battle between Good an Evil, has been set down for 2012. The I Ching, also known as the Chinese book of Changes, says the same thing, as do various sections of the Hindu teachings..

 

 

5. Super Volcano

 

 

Yellowstone National Park in the United States is famous for its thermal springs and Old Faithful geyser. The reason for this is simple - it's sitting on top of the world's biggest volcano, and geological experts are beginning to get nervous sweats. The Yellowstone volcano has a pattern of erupting every 650,000 years or so, and we're many years overdue for an explosion that will fill the atmosphere with ash, blocking the sun and plunging the Earth into a frozen winter that could last up to 15,000 years. The pressure under the Yellowstone is building steadily, and geologists have set 2012 as a likely date for the big bang.

 

 

6. The Physicists 

 

 

This one's case of bog-simple maths mathematics. Physicists at Berekely Uni have been crunching the numbers. and they've determined that the Earth is well overdue for a major catastrophic event. Even worse, they're claiming their calculations prove, that we're all going to die, very soon - while also saying their prediction comes with a certainty of 99 percent- and 2012 just happens to be the best guess as to when it occurs.

 

 

7. Slip-Slop-Slap- BANG!

 

 

We all know the Earth is surrounded by a magnetic field that shields us from most of the sun's radiation. What you might not know is that the magnetic poles we call north and south have a nasty habit of swapping places every 750,000 years or so - and right now we're about 30,000 years overdue. Scientists have noted that the poles are drifting apart roughly 20-30kms each year, much faster than ever before, which points to a pole-shift being right around the corner. While the pole shift is underway, the magnetic field is disrupted and will eventually disappear, sometimes for up to 100 years. The result is enough UV outdoors to crisp your skin in seconds, killing everything it touches.

GOOD MORNING.......
 
 
 Dream.......... ...... makes all things possible Hope..............makes all things work Love ..............makes all things beautiful Smile................ makes all above work possible
 
 
The happiest people in the world are not those who have no problems, but those who learn to live with things that are less than perfect. Happiness always looks small  when you hold it in your hands But when you learn to share it , you will realize  how big and precious it is!! 
Have a Great Day!!!
 

Monday, February 16, 2009

Satyam song


 

Dear All,

Enjoy this satyam song......................................! 

 

 

Take tone of My name is Anthony Gonsalves from Amar Akbar Anthony and
sing
this song........ .......... .......... ......... ......... .........

My name is Ramalinga Raju
main Satyam ka Lootera (Thief)
hoon


Khaate (Accounts) hai khaali, Balance sheets jaali (fake)
satyam employees ki bhi watt laga daali
...
jisko bhi yaad aaye, mujhe milne chala aaye
jisko bhi yaad aaye, mujhe milne chala aaye
...
Hyderabad police chowki, jholi(ssorry. ..kholi) number 420

ACCUSE ME PLEASE

abhi abhi jail ke andar ek company kholi hai, aji kholi hai,haan haan kholi hai
investors ne bhi lagayi bad chad kar boli hai, haan boli hai, haan haan boli hai
jailor bhi raazi, qaidi bhi raazi
Jab tak chalegi yeh jaalsaazi
..
..
jisko bhi yaad aaye, milke marne chala aaye
jisko bhi yaad aaye, milke marne chala aaye
..
...Hyderabad police chowki, jholi (ssorry...kholi) number 420

ACCUSE ME PLEASE